The Right Stuff

They say genius is an infinite capacity for taking pains…it’s a very bad definition, but it does apply to detective work.

—Byron Preiss, Son of Sherlock Holmes 

This chapter is about the traits and skills that I believe are important in deciphering these puzzles. First and foremost, I am certainly no genius. However, as the above quote suggests, detective work is less about raw abilities and more about taking pains in just the right way. 

Absence of Ego: There’s an important trait, in my opinion, that is uncommon among treasure hunters, while at the same time common among all those who have found success in this hunt. I’ve observed this quality in the group of young men who found the first casque in Chicago, the two lawyers who found the second casque in Cleveland, and the game designer who identified the general location of the third casque in Boston. All of these individuals share a singular trait that was key to their success—humility. 

Why does humility matter? These puzzles will make a fool of anyone who attempts them, anyone. I don’t care who you are, or think you are. They will wreck you, break you in two. If you’re not okay with that, you’ll never be able to accept and ultimately correct your errors. These puzzles certainly have made, and will continue to make, a fool of me. 

Furthermore, humility opens us up to the ideas and opinions of others. If we are married to our ideas, and our ideas only, we limit our knowledge base. It’s akin to trying to be an expert in all of a huge field of study such as medicine or computer science. It’s important to note that all of the three casques acquired thus far were found with outside help. The young men in Chicago dug at least half a dozen large holes before asking Byron for help. He ultimately sent them a photograph of the exact burial site, after which they still had trouble finding it. The general location of the Cleveland casque was actually identified first by a gentleman named Johann who posted the information online. And the Boston casque was dug up by an excavator during a renovation. All of these treasure hunters benefited from the actions of others. 

Generally speaking, those who are humble won’t tell you about it. Weird, huh? I, for one, am very proud of my humility, and I want everyone to know it. Let’s be clear, I’m quite possibly the most humble person who has ever lived, and, yes, I’m damn proud of it! In all seriousness, solving these puzzles is not about always being right. It's about being able to admit that you’re wrong, and correcting your mistakes, over, and over, and over again.

Bad Dad Humor: Another particularly helpful trait in solving these puzzles is a sense of humor. Most humor, I believe, is the breaking of an expectation, often with a pun. Here are some of my favorite egg samples of yokes: 

What do you get if you cross a white-tailed deer with a blind cave fish? No-eyed deer!

Employer: “Tell me about yourself.”

Applicant: “Well, I just went to Yale for four years.”

Employer: “Yale? Wow! You’re hired!”

Applicant: “That’s great ‘cause I could really use the yob.”

The main difference between dogs and cats can be summed up as the following: A dog, observing that you love, feed, and take care of it, concludes that you must be a god!  A cat, on the other hand, noticing that you love, feed, and take care of it concludes that it must be a god!

Knock, knock! 

Who’s there? 

Mansplaining. 

Mansplain—

It’s when you explain something in an obnoxious and condescending way. Got it?

A comedian, or wanna-be comedian like me, is always looking for puns and the breaking of expectations, constantly exercising the mental muscles needed to solve these puzzles. This punny humor tends to become less common among the extremely intelligent. Most of the really smart people I know tend to opt for dry, satirical, or ironic humor rather than the silly pun-based form. 

A Dreamer: Having the right temperament for these puzzles is also important. There is a simple, yet telling, psychological test that slots people into three general categories. The subject walks into a room, is given a balled-up piece of paper, and told to try to make it into the trash can on the far side of the room. Some people stroll across the room and just drop the paper into the can, done. These are the manager types, people who like to be in control and get things done. Others will approach the can until they feel confident and then toss the wad in. If they miss, as with the first group, they just drop it in, done. Most people fall into this second category, a group that approaches challenges in a sensible and measured way. Finally, a small group of people will toss the crumpled paper the length of the room, retrieve it when they miss, return to the far side of the room, and then keep throwing the full distance until they finally make it, thrilled at their success. These are the dreamers. I think having this tireless desire to succeed at a “long-shot” is an essential part of complex puzzle solving. 

A Knack for Reasoning: Some juggle, some have perfect pitch, some have photographic memories, and some just figure things out. It doesn’t have to come with any other aptitudes we generally associate with intelligence, but a knack for deduction is key to solving these puzzles. Deduction is the one talent that I’ve leaned on throughout my life. My seventh grade English teacher, at the end of the first quarter, gave everyone in the class exceedingly low grades to, in his words, “get everyone in line.“ He approached me after giving out the grades, trying to figure out how I could possibly have done so poorly and well at the same time. He couldn’t get his mind around my getting D’s in reading and spelling (my only D’s ever, by the way), and an A- (probably the best grade in the class) in grammar. It just made no sense to him. It’s important to remember that there are many ways to be intelligent—musically, socially, mathematically, artistically, scientifically, linguistically, athletically, etc. My smarter older brother could best me in any intellectual contest, save one—chess. He too had a hard time getting his mind around that, but there it was. I believe that we all possess a super power of one kind or another. It may be as simple as being able to light up a room with your smile or as complex as being able to write a symphony in your mind. I believe we all have something to offer, something important. 

Attention to Detail: Have you ever visited someone’s home where there was a painting on the wall that wasn’t quite straight, and it took all of your self-control to not fix it? I feel your pain. An obsession with symmetry, order, balance, and correctness is an important trait for anyone trying to solve these puzzles. For example, I skipped the optional final comma before the “and” in the previous sentence, which is inconsistent with the rest of this book, making it a subtle error—and it really bothers me! If, by chance, the comma is there, that means I couldn’t take it and at some point went back and fixed it. 

When I hear someone say, “You don’t know nothin’,” I cringe thinking about what this double negative actually means. When I hear a conditional prepositional phrase like “If I was a rich man…” failing to properly use the subjunctive mood, I die a little inside! Mixed metaphors don’t pass mustard [sic] with me—but malapropisms, on the other hand, I just find supercilious  [sic] !

So many clues in these puzzles are incredulously subtle, itty-bitsy, tiny-weeny inconsistencies that a topical person would just scan over. We must be able to identify, catalog and interpret these numerous imperfections irregardless of our national tendencies. Can you find all 9 errors (or questionable uses of the English language) in this paragraph?

Irrational Curiosity: When my wife and I first started dating and she visited my house for the first time, she came across an issue of Astronomy magazine and brought it to my attention. As I drew in a breath to apologize for my weird interests, as I had many times in the past, she simply said, “That’s really cool.” I knew then that she was the right kind of person for me. We both possess unreasonably curious minds. 

Most people have a practical curiosity regarding those things that affect their daily lives—news, sports, leisure, business, politics, fashion, local events, etc.—the types of things commonly found in a daily newspaper. Then there are those individuals who are passionate about topics that are completely impractical, have absolutely nothing to do with our personal human existence, topics like astronomy, cosmology, evolution, prehistory, etc. I believe possessing an unreasonably curious mind is required to peel back the deepest layers of these puzzles. 

The most challenging mystery is the one we don’t even know exists, the one that’s not on the menu. Many challenges in these puzzles fall into this category, riddles that are only hinted at, secret messages and stories that have no business being there, no business being part of one of these puzzles at all. Some challenges only exist as a pattern found among many clues. The secret of The Secret for each puzzle described in this book is like this. Each is an answer to a question that was never asked. Only a person with a deep-seated irrational curiosity would ever bother to answer all of the ridiculous questions necessary to solve these puzzles. 

Love of the Pure Mystery: Finally, in my opinion, the most important trait in solving these puzzles is having an affinity for the Sherlock Holmes stories, not the slipshod copy-cat versions, but the originals authored by Sir Connan Doyle himself. I read them as a kid, and they had a profound impact on me. I was taken with the idea that with the proper frame of mind, process, and technique, I could solve almost anything. Having a smarter older brother, like Sherlock, may have also contributed to my enthusiasm. I find it fascinating that the whole field of forensics can trace its origins back to these very popular stories, that fiction could have such a profound impact on the real world.